#donotbeafakefriend

I recently posted a FaceBook status that reads:

“It’s interesting when you realize just how many people you talked to/were friends with when you were younger that decided you were just another face in the crowd they could forget and now they have to interact with you. It always makes for some nice awkward encounters. Word to the wise? Maybe be a genuine friend or just don’t invest time in people. This way it won’t be awkward in the future. ‪#‎donotbeafakefriend‬

This is a good lesson for anyone to learn, but I am about to focus mainly on my faith. If no one knew this, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With this comes a lot of close-knit community ties. We have a tighter community than most other religions. Especially with the fact that we don’t necessarily “choose” where we go to church, but rather go to a specific building based on where we live. Not only is it the building that an area is assigned to, but different sections of the area go to the church building at a specific time.

In Utah, this topic may not be a thing seeing as there truly is a church on almost every corner, but in Texas, this is absolutely a real occurrence. Especially when you reach cities that are even slightly more city than suburb. Even 45 minutes away from a major city deals with the tiny close-knit community that Mormons/LDS members are known for.

However, it’s not even home wards that we are dealing with here, it’s YSA’s (Young Single Adult wards and branches). If you thought the way we did Sunday services was strange, you’re gonna get a real kick out of this one. Outside of Utah and Idaho, we don’t really have multiple YSA’s for each stake. We, more than likely, have one.

And this brings me back to my main point. Do not be a fake friend.

When we are younger, we have the chance to meet people in our area and age group in the church at various activities and we 0ften become friends with many people this way. The only caveat here is that many young members of the church will simply tolerate people that they wouldn’t want to be friends with outside of these activities. Thus, when college hits everyone goes their separate ways, UNLESS they continue to live in the same city that they grew up in.

This is because they now begin going to the YSA branch/ward in their area and now have to encounter those people again on a regular occurrence–even more than they had before as children.

This is not an issue for everyone, but this can be one for many because they have chosen to ignore those they “befriended” as young children because they, at the time or later, thought they were “too churchy”, “too weird”, “not cool enough”, or even “merely tolerable”. (This list doesn’t end. People have endless reasons for dropping someone and ignoring them completely–This isn’t only in the LDS community. It happens with EVERYONE.)

What drove me to write about this is that I now have an assignment where I have to interact with one of these “friends” from my childhood each month who I suppose was never truly a friend. It wouldn’t be weird if the person in question hadn’t continually ignored me as an adult and pretended like I didn’t exist. However, because they did this it will make interacting with them that much more awkward. I had made the effort to reach out to them as I was at school and such and they, countless times, ignored me.

Y’all may be thinking “oh she’s just butthurt that this happened to her…”, “she shouldn’t have tried…”, “only she would be affected by this…”, “it’s all in her head…”, “this isn’t really happpening to her…” but all of those phrases are so far from the truth.

If the person in question hadn’t been friends with me when we were young children there would be no issue and this would be another instance where I get to meet a new person, but because I’ve known them for over 15 years, have known what they went through, and have seen how far they’ve come without them even thinking that I might be a friend, this is going to be awkward. And it probably won’t be awkward just for me.

I can guarantee you that the second they realize that I was one of the people they knew as a child whom they often spent time with they will feel the awkwardness.

This is not a post where I am asking you to pity me or help me wallow in my sorrow, but this is a post where I am asking you to please, PLEASE, please be genuine. I cannot express how much I hope everyone takes this and decides to be a genuine individual and friend. It is hard to realize how important it is when we are young, but as we grow older we need to recognize that nobody has time for fake friends. Nobody has time to be fake. No one has time to even think about being fake. Genuine is where it’s at. This is the only type of friend ANYONE should be. And the only type of friend that I intend to be. I will interact with this person just as I would with any of my close friends. I will continue to love them and reach out to them, no matter what because I truly care about them and I hope, more than anything, that I can make a difference in their life.

 

These are my thoughts on this topic, I hope y’all have thoughts to share with me as well because I love to hear stories and comments from people.

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

“Words will never hurt me…” #lies

I know I haven’t posted in a while so here ya go:

You know what guys? Words actually do hurt. Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” was obviously never targeted by words. It has happened to me by strangers who don’t know me and by family members who probably think they know me. It’s not just me, though. I’ve seen it happen to others countless times. And I’ve had this happen twice this semester. Once by someone who basically knows nothing about me and the other time by someone who is supposedly a “family member” who is supposed to know me.

I. Am. Sick. Of. It.

If anyone even does this anymore, I will not even condone it. If I see it happen–you can be sure I will take action. It is not worth it to state what you are thinking if it will possibly damage someone’s soul or image of themself. Take a rendition of Thumper’s advice, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” And this means you need to evaluate your words and think about what kind of effect they may have on the person you’re going to say them to BEFORE saying them. NOTHING is worth saying if it will hurt someone deeply to the point that they spend time crying over it. Sometimes people cannot control what will hurt them which is why we as feeling beings MUST work hard to be the best we can be and that means we do not accuse or assume ANYTHING about anyone.

I need EVERYONE to realize that this is not okay. It is not okay to tell someone who they are when you barely know them–family or acquaintance. It is not okay to assume anything without learning the other side’s story. It is not okay. So stop it. Just. STOP.

</rant>

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

dear (possible) future husband

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loved by I am

I am going to start off by saying I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for my past. For giving my heart away one too many times. For having a twisted perception of men. For not having trust. For already making you an idol. I’m sorry for my present. For being a “ravenous wolf” as my pastor calls it. For constantly searching instead of being patient. For not praying for you constantly. I’m sorry for my future mistakes. For not submitting. For letting my emotions drive me at times. For believing lies and not listening to truth. For not following through on things I may promise.

I’m sorry for you. For the temptations you deal with everyday. For the girls who show a little too much. For the lie that “manhood” is being physically strong and not showing any emotions. For the expectations you know I already have, the ones you feel like…

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What I wish I knew about BYU-I

A View From Up Higher

My Freshman year of college is officially over and it was seriously one of the best experiences of my entire life. 1536521_10202973662726676_608733140_nAlthough it felt as if I was completely unprepared for it all, it was actually an easier transition than I thought it would be. Living on your own and being independent comes quite naturally. BUT… there are a few things that I wish I would have known prior to moving up to BYU-Idaho. These are things that worked best for me/things I learned during my college experience so hopefully they’re just as helpful to you!

CATEGORY #1: THE GOSPEL

If you go up to this school with an open heart, you are guaranteed a stronger testimony and a gained surplus of knowledge about the gospel. Make sure that you do all you can to immerse yourself in the gospel. Sure, social life and academics may seem to “get in…

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My apologies…

I only successfully posted 8 stories in this section before the year was up, I owe you 17 more stories and as such I will work on posting those. They may be short, or long. And they might not just be in story format, but in poem format. It can vary depending on how I was feeling when I was writing the story. I tend to be happy when I write stories and when I write poems I tend to be more depressed.

Fare thee well!

Karen Alyse

2014 in review

It’s been a good year, guys. Thank you so much for that. I really have enjoyed sharing things with you throughout this year!!

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 33,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 12 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.