#donotbeafakefriend

I recently posted a FaceBook status that reads:

“It’s interesting when you realize just how many people you talked to/were friends with when you were younger that decided you were just another face in the crowd they could forget and now they have to interact with you. It always makes for some nice awkward encounters. Word to the wise? Maybe be a genuine friend or just don’t invest time in people. This way it won’t be awkward in the future. ‪#‎donotbeafakefriend‬

This is a good lesson for anyone to learn, but I am about to focus mainly on my faith. If no one knew this, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With this comes a lot of close-knit community ties. We have a tighter community than most other religions. Especially with the fact that we don’t necessarily “choose” where we go to church, but rather go to a specific building based on where we live. Not only is it the building that an area is assigned to, but different sections of the area go to the church building at a specific time.

In Utah, this topic may not be a thing seeing as there truly is a church on almost every corner, but in Texas, this is absolutely a real occurrence. Especially when you reach cities that are even slightly more city than suburb. Even 45 minutes away from a major city deals with the tiny close-knit community that Mormons/LDS members are known for.

However, it’s not even home wards that we are dealing with here, it’s YSA’s (Young Single Adult wards and branches). If you thought the way we did Sunday services was strange, you’re gonna get a real kick out of this one. Outside of Utah and Idaho, we don’t really have multiple YSA’s for each stake. We, more than likely, have one.

And this brings me back to my main point. Do not be a fake friend.

When we are younger, we have the chance to meet people in our area and age group in the church at various activities and we 0ften become friends with many people this way. The only caveat here is that many young members of the church will simply tolerate people that they wouldn’t want to be friends with outside of these activities. Thus, when college hits everyone goes their separate ways, UNLESS they continue to live in the same city that they grew up in.

This is because they now begin going to the YSA branch/ward in their area and now have to encounter those people again on a regular occurrence–even more than they had before as children.

This is not an issue for everyone, but this can be one for many because they have chosen to ignore those they “befriended” as young children because they, at the time or later, thought they were “too churchy”, “too weird”, “not cool enough”, or even “merely tolerable”. (This list doesn’t end. People have endless reasons for dropping someone and ignoring them completely–This isn’t only in the LDS community. It happens with EVERYONE.)

What drove me to write about this is that I now have an assignment where I have to interact with one of these “friends” from my childhood each month who I suppose was never truly a friend. It wouldn’t be weird if the person in question hadn’t continually ignored me as an adult and pretended like I didn’t exist. However, because they did this it will make interacting with them that much more awkward. I had made the effort to reach out to them as I was at school and such and they, countless times, ignored me.

Y’all may be thinking “oh she’s just butthurt that this happened to her…”, “she shouldn’t have tried…”, “only she would be affected by this…”, “it’s all in her head…”, “this isn’t really happpening to her…” but all of those phrases are so far from the truth.

If the person in question hadn’t been friends with me when we were young children there would be no issue and this would be another instance where I get to meet a new person, but because I’ve known them for over 15 years, have known what they went through, and have seen how far they’ve come without them even thinking that I might be a friend, this is going to be awkward. And it probably won’t be awkward just for me.

I can guarantee you that the second they realize that I was one of the people they knew as a child whom they often spent time with they will feel the awkwardness.

This is not a post where I am asking you to pity me or help me wallow in my sorrow, but this is a post where I am asking you to please, PLEASE, please be genuine. I cannot express how much I hope everyone takes this and decides to be a genuine individual and friend. It is hard to realize how important it is when we are young, but as we grow older we need to recognize that nobody has time for fake friends. Nobody has time to be fake. No one has time to even think about being fake. Genuine is where it’s at. This is the only type of friend ANYONE should be. And the only type of friend that I intend to be. I will interact with this person just as I would with any of my close friends. I will continue to love them and reach out to them, no matter what because I truly care about them and I hope, more than anything, that I can make a difference in their life.

 

These are my thoughts on this topic, I hope y’all have thoughts to share with me as well because I love to hear stories and comments from people.

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

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Rant on plans (how once they are made and agreed on, there should be no thoughts on changing them drastically)

So, this summer has been an insane amount of making plans and then changing them.

Some of these changes no one could have controlled so those were okay, such as:

-my boyfriend not being able to visit this past week like he was originally going to

or

-a very secret trip I am taking that basically only my family knows about, etc.

However, there was one plan that could have and probably should have stayed in tact because both parties did have control over it.

And this plan would be the trip my sister and I were planning to go see Todrick Hall and IM5 in their Twerk du Soleil concert.

The reason this trip was even thought up was because Todrick and IM5 have 3 concerts occurring in Texas, starting Thursday, July 10th in San Antonio, continuing on to Houston on the 11th, and then continuing to Dallas on the 12th. Now, I live in the Dallas area so you might be wondering why I would even ponder going to another concert when that one is the closest one. Well, the answer is simple, really. My flight for my secret trip is that day. I leave early that morning and therefore will not be in town that night for the 7:30 concert that Toddy and IM5 are going to be putting on. I was more than disappointed when I found this out. Honest. I wanted to go so badly. I still want to go. SO BADLY. But I cannot.

You see, my sister and I decided that since I wouldn’t be in town that evening we could possibly see about driving down to San Antonio the morning of Toddy’s SA concert, be there a few hours before the concert, get ready for it and go, and then stay in SA for that night and drive back to the Dallas area the next morning. It was a great plan when we thought it up because I have a car, we both have a decent amount of money that we could use on this trip, and it fit into our schedule (well, MY schedule).

But then we told our mom about it. She didn’t like the plan at all. She thought it was a bad idea because it would be too expensive and we would be alone, and we don’t know the city, and it would be such a short trip, and too much driving for me, etc. the list might’ve been endless, I’m not sure. But I did understand her qualms so my sister and I decided we probably wouldn’t be able to go, unless of course we found someone who could go with us, but that wasn’t super likely. However I did decide I was going to at least try, so I checked with my cousin who used to live in SA and she couldn’t do it. That was when it became real that we probably wouldn’t get to go so I just stopped looking for someone to go with us because I figured we just wouldn’t be able to go.

Then I went to this Independence Day celebration and my brother and my sister-in-law totally agree to going with my sister and I and we were so excited that we would get to go to the concert. We told our parents and they agreed that we could go. And then 3 days later, after the plans have been set I get a call from my brother saying that his wife wants to spend the weekend in SA. My flight Saturday morning is out of Dallas. If we stay the weekend I miss that flight. And the way my brother wanted me to do it, my trip would go up another $150 for changing where I would depart from. I simply could not afford that. So essentially, my sister in law decided the SA trip wouldn’t happen. But it could have happened if the plans had stayed the way my sister and I had originally planned it out.

It bugs me when plans change this drastically, mainly because people plan on things like this and then they just don’t get to go through with them because people who had agreed to the original plan wanted to change it. Like no. These aren’t your plans to change in the first place. Stop. Stop right now. Stop before you hurt yourself and others.

So that’s my view on the whole changing plans thing: You shouldn’t agree to something if you don’t intend on staying true to the original plan. Do not think that plans can change just because it doesn’t fit exactly how you feel it should be.

In other plans news:

-My boyfriend is planning on visiting me for my birthday instead now ❤

-My secret trip will soon be something I’ll be able to talk about 😉

-My New York church trip is going to be great AND I might get to see my boyfriend during that trip as well 😉

There is a LOT of traveling in my future. This is insane. But It’s exciting too. I cannot wait to get to begin this new chapter of my life. ❤ Woohoo college!

Well, fare thee well!!!

Karen Alyse

Friday. <3 <3 <3

Yesterday was amazing!!! I can’t complain about a single thing from yesterday. I got to pick up my new retainer from the orthodontist which was okay. Then I got to hang out with Colleen.

She and I talked and watched the movie “Minor Details”. We also watched the first episode in a web series based off of a book series called “Private”. Then we headed on over to the theatre around 12:30 for my interview at 1:00.

I had a great interview, the manager seemed to really like me so I was excited about that. She told me that if they call me, they would be calling between 4:00 and 5:00 that evening. 😀

So then Colleen and I headed back to my house to watch “Scents and Sensibility” with my injured sister (she tore a ligament in her left foot). A little bit after starting the movie, Colleen and I headed over to the park where we got to take part in a massive group hug! 😀 Then we went back to my house and watched part of “Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-day Comedy” (otherwise known as the Mormon/LDS version).

Then I took Colleen home around 4:00ish and I was stressing out xD haha but it was okay because I didn’t get a phone call and I was starting to think I wasn’t gonna get the job because they hadn’t called by 4:50 and then I heard my phone ringing and it said “Cinemark” because I had saved their numbers into my phone that they had called me on.

She offered me the job and I took it. I officially have a job!! 😀 Yay! Okay, and then around 6:00ish I went over to Catherine’s house and hung out with her for a little bit (because it was her birthday).

Then we all got in their car (Catherine’s parents, her sisters Lily and Rachel, and her friends Daniel and Caitlin, plus her and me) we drove about a half hour away to learn salsa dancing!! It was SO MUCH FUN!!! 😀 I loved it!

My bestfriend is serving his 2-year church mission in Spain so I will have something to talk to him about! 😀 Not to mention he is Hispanic. ❤ Okay. That’s all for now.

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse