Writing has become a bigger part of my life than it was before

I know, it’s hard to believe, but writing has now become even more of my life than it was before.

When I think of my past history with writing, I think of NaNoWriMo and all of my little short stories and poems on the side. When I think of my future? Now I think of all of that with the addition of Odyssey.

I was given the opportunity 2 months ago to take part in this wonderful organization. It has given me the chance to get my voice further out there than I had before. I have grown from this experience and since becoming a Content Creator for Odyssey, I have learned what it means to say what you want to say. I had been a Content Creator for 4 weeks when my Managing Editor offered me the role of Editor in Chief. Since then I have taken on the responsibility of maintaining an Odyssey Team and helping them be the best they can be, all while working hard to get my voice out there as well. We are a team, we strive to work together, and I am astounded by this organization. Odyssey is more than just an online editorial, it is a life experience. If you haven’t experienced getting your voice out there like this, then you are definitely missing out. With all of these responsibilities, it’s no wonder writing has become more of my life, than just a hobby. I am prepping for my future as an editor, what are you doing to prep for your future?

This is my article this week, it is about Suicide Squad: 11 Reasons Why Suicide Squad Is The Best

Fare thee well,

Karen Alyse

those days when you can only smile

The status I posted on FaceBook two nights ago:

“Those days when you can just smile through everything and nothing goes wrong and everything just keeps getting better and better? Those are the best. Cherish those days.

I just had one of those days.”

Now, this day was actually two days ago, but essentially I am still on a high from it.

I woke up and while I was definitely tired, I was glad to be awake. It was beautiful outside, I was working in my favorite department that day at work, and I got to talk to someone important to me.

Prior to work, I had a conversation with a good friend, we just talked about what was going on that day and then I went to work. As I was working I ended up being the Theater/Presentation Checker and I got to only do that all day. I helped out with organizing the box offices for the majority of the day and finally for the last 2 hours of my 8-9 hour shift I got to actually check theaters.

When I started checking theaters I went and had another conversation with my friend because they were at the theater. I found out how long they would be there and planned to come back later. We talked for like half an hour at that time and then both figured we needed to get back to work so we did.

I got off of work and went home, took a shower, and my brother asked me to come see a movie with him and our little brother. Of course, I agreed. On the way to the theater, I convinced my brother to stop at Kroger so I could get a Mexican Coke for my friend at the theater. He agreed to let me do that so we stopped there, I bought the coke, and we were back on the road to the theater.

When we arrived there we got our tickets and headed to concessions. While my brothers were at concessions I told them I would see them in a bit and headed over to where my friend was so I could give him his Coke (which was for his birthday).

I walked up to him and he was very involved in what he was doing right then so I jjust stood there and waited for him to notice me and finally when he did I was like “Here. This is for you.” and I held the Coke out to him. He got really excited and was genuinely happy and then he threw me off when he asked “Can I give you a hug?”

Of course, I said yes, I wasn’t about to turn down a hug. Then we stood there and started talking and before we both knew it we had been talking for like an hour and a half. It didn’t feel like it had been that long, but it was. I really enjoy his company, he’s a great friend and I’m positive we’ll still be friends for a while.

After that, I went and finished watching Star Wars with my brothers and finally we left and hung out at home. The day was literal perfection. I am not sure how much better you can get.

Like I said, I am still on a high from all that occurred that day.

If you have the opportunity to have a day like this, take advantage of it. They don’t come along all the time and may surprise you when they do or even disrupt your plans when they do. But they are so worth it.

As always, fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Demons

There she is,

I hesitate.

She sits there – uncomfortable, self conscious,

and hating the world.

~

Does she realize how much she has?

Does she realize how she has everything I ever wanted?

How could she hate the world, then?

What did he do to her?

~

Oh, right – he gave her an amazing life:

Friends who love her no matter what,

A family that cares and wants the best for her,

And a guy that doesn’t take her for granted.

~

A life that any girl would be grateful for –

A life full of love, a life shared with others,

A life that anyone else would want –

But not her.

~

No – her true wishes are for it all to stop.

All of it – the despair, the depression, the delusion.

None of those things mean anything

If she can’t experience them fully.

~

The inhibitors in her life are brutal:

They beat her, curse her, push her down –

They repeat this day after day after day.

The pain, the hurt, the remorse, the guilt –

bearing down on her, threatening her, damaging her.

~

One day it may become too much,

One day she may not get back up.

And when that day comes, she will need us –

Each of us, no matter where we are.

~

We must be there for her,

We must show her we care.

We must battle her demons with her,

Prove to her that she can beat it.

~

For as we battle her demons, we will battle our own

And learn for ourselves exactly what must be known.

That love conquers all, even replaces it too;

And this is what we must learn how to do.

~

I stood there thinking all this through

And then walked across the room.

“May I sit here?” I asked

And she looked up at me and smiled, “Of course you may.”

~

Her smile lifted my spirits and my heart fluttered,

It was like seeing the sun after a year of storms.

The moment she smiled I thought to myself

“Perhaps she has defeated her demons yet.”

~~~~

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Rant on plans (how once they are made and agreed on, there should be no thoughts on changing them drastically)

So, this summer has been an insane amount of making plans and then changing them.

Some of these changes no one could have controlled so those were okay, such as:

-my boyfriend not being able to visit this past week like he was originally going to

or

-a very secret trip I am taking that basically only my family knows about, etc.

However, there was one plan that could have and probably should have stayed in tact because both parties did have control over it.

And this plan would be the trip my sister and I were planning to go see Todrick Hall and IM5 in their Twerk du Soleil concert.

The reason this trip was even thought up was because Todrick and IM5 have 3 concerts occurring in Texas, starting Thursday, July 10th in San Antonio, continuing on to Houston on the 11th, and then continuing to Dallas on the 12th. Now, I live in the Dallas area so you might be wondering why I would even ponder going to another concert when that one is the closest one. Well, the answer is simple, really. My flight for my secret trip is that day. I leave early that morning and therefore will not be in town that night for the 7:30 concert that Toddy and IM5 are going to be putting on. I was more than disappointed when I found this out. Honest. I wanted to go so badly. I still want to go. SO BADLY. But I cannot.

You see, my sister and I decided that since I wouldn’t be in town that evening we could possibly see about driving down to San Antonio the morning of Toddy’s SA concert, be there a few hours before the concert, get ready for it and go, and then stay in SA for that night and drive back to the Dallas area the next morning. It was a great plan when we thought it up because I have a car, we both have a decent amount of money that we could use on this trip, and it fit into our schedule (well, MY schedule).

But then we told our mom about it. She didn’t like the plan at all. She thought it was a bad idea because it would be too expensive and we would be alone, and we don’t know the city, and it would be such a short trip, and too much driving for me, etc. the list might’ve been endless, I’m not sure. But I did understand her qualms so my sister and I decided we probably wouldn’t be able to go, unless of course we found someone who could go with us, but that wasn’t super likely. However I did decide I was going to at least try, so I checked with my cousin who used to live in SA and she couldn’t do it. That was when it became real that we probably wouldn’t get to go so I just stopped looking for someone to go with us because I figured we just wouldn’t be able to go.

Then I went to this Independence Day celebration and my brother and my sister-in-law totally agree to going with my sister and I and we were so excited that we would get to go to the concert. We told our parents and they agreed that we could go. And then 3 days later, after the plans have been set I get a call from my brother saying that his wife wants to spend the weekend in SA. My flight Saturday morning is out of Dallas. If we stay the weekend I miss that flight. And the way my brother wanted me to do it, my trip would go up another $150 for changing where I would depart from. I simply could not afford that. So essentially, my sister in law decided the SA trip wouldn’t happen. But it could have happened if the plans had stayed the way my sister and I had originally planned it out.

It bugs me when plans change this drastically, mainly because people plan on things like this and then they just don’t get to go through with them because people who had agreed to the original plan wanted to change it. Like no. These aren’t your plans to change in the first place. Stop. Stop right now. Stop before you hurt yourself and others.

So that’s my view on the whole changing plans thing: You shouldn’t agree to something if you don’t intend on staying true to the original plan. Do not think that plans can change just because it doesn’t fit exactly how you feel it should be.

In other plans news:

-My boyfriend is planning on visiting me for my birthday instead now ❤

-My secret trip will soon be something I’ll be able to talk about 😉

-My New York church trip is going to be great AND I might get to see my boyfriend during that trip as well 😉

There is a LOT of traveling in my future. This is insane. But It’s exciting too. I cannot wait to get to begin this new chapter of my life. ❤ Woohoo college!

Well, fare thee well!!!

Karen Alyse

Cruel as It Is, We Somehow Go On (Write Alike Short Story) from my Senior Year (2013-2014)

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel.

That is ultimately the fundamental lesson here, as fangirls wail, celebrities sleep calmly in hotels, and the angsty teens lie unclaimed in the rubble that once was real life.

Sometimes the characters fall and will not stop. Sometimes the writers turn evil and will not write. Sometimes the producers rise and smack the storyline like a fist. Sometimes the producers delay and split the story. And sometimes, the emotions rattle and heave and split in two.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel.

And always, when it is, we do the same thing. We dig ourselves out. We weep and mourn, we recover and memorialize the fallen, we rebuild our hopes. And we go on. This is the price of being a fangirl. And also, arguably, the noblest fandoms.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel, and you have no choice but to accept that as part of the bargain called fangirling. And when it is your turn to deal with it, you try.

But what if it’s always your turn?

Surely some hopeless, tear-streaked fangirl can be forgiven for thinking it is always her turn this evening, two minutes after the most angsty fandom in the world saw its episode airing delayed by the strongest force it has ever known, an evil producing monster. Surely, the rest of us watching from afar, experiencing tragedy and devastation from the comfort of desk chairs and living room couches, are tempted to believe the same thing.

Bad enough, fangirls are wretchedly poor. Bad enough they have a history of emotional instability and weakness, of being ignored by the major powers when it is not being exploited by them. Bad enough, all that, yet at the end of the day, those are disasters authored by the producers hands, by producers greed, producers corruption, producers economic predation.

Sometimes, though, you have to wonder if the producers themselves are not conspiring against these feisty little fangirls.

After 1995, when A&E’s Pride and Prejudice was aired, after 2005, when Doctor Who was revived and swept away over 500 fangirls, after 2006 when the mercy of Robin Hood helped over 2,000 souls, after 2010, when Sherlock aired only three episodes and Downton Abbey made a stir, followed by Merlin’s newfound fame which captured even more, after the double whammy of Spies of War and Bates Motel in 2013 gathered many more fangirls and destroyed social lives, through all that, comes this lifestyle – and an emotional toll psychologists cannot begin to even imagine. Perhaps as many as millions, they were saying on Wednesday.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel. To crawl onto the couch, scanning for new episodes on Netflix, charting when shows are available, running from real life issues, is to understand this in a primal, personal way. It is to view a show that begins, “Long ago, in the time of dragons…” It is to create clever tumblr posts, donate your small funds, volunteer material and time and to fear, even in the waiting, that these gestures are small against the reality, inconsequential against the ache of a people  whose turn to fall never seems to end.

But what else are you going to do? As the playwright put it, your voice is too small to talk with producers. Even less have we the ability to answer the question that burns the moment: Why are the most vulnerable repeatedly assessed the highest price?

We are hamstrung by our own obsessions, so we can only do what we always do, only send money and hope. And watch, staggered by the courage it takes, as fangirls do what fangirls always do, the thing at which they have become so terribly practiced.

Dig out. Weep and mourn. Memorialize the fallen. Rebuild. Go on. And show the world once againa stubborn insistence on living, despite all the cruelties of the fandom life.

~~~~

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Senior Year… College…. Life…

I’ve recently been brought to the attention that I will be a senior this year and that in a year or maybe a year and a half, I will be at college. Or attempting to be at college. I really want to go to BYU (Brigham Young University) in Provo. I’ve come to realize that I really have to start writing essays and filling out applications and getting ready to take care of myself throughout college. This is CRAZY! I mean, I’m excited… but I’m also not. I don’t even know. I just need to go ahead and get a job in the next month (hopefully Cinemark), start going to the counselors and find out things that are important for college such as my unweighted GPA, and finally manage to make enough money to pay for college. That would be quite important. Goodness gracious.

I’m out of here. Fare thee well!
Karen Alyse