“Words will never hurt me…” #lies

I know I haven’t posted in a while so here ya go:

You know what guys? Words actually do hurt. Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” was obviously never targeted by words. It has happened to me by strangers who don’t know me and by family members who probably think they know me. It’s not just me, though. I’ve seen it happen to others countless times. And I’ve had this happen twice this semester. Once by someone who basically knows nothing about me and the other time by someone who is supposedly a “family member” who is supposed to know me.

I. Am. Sick. Of. It.

If anyone even does this anymore, I will not condone it. If I see it happen–you can be sure I will take action. It is not worth it to state what you are thinking if it will possibly damage someone’s soul or image of themself. Take a rendition of Thumper’s advice, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” And this means you need to evaluate your words and think about what kind of effect they may have on the person you’re going to say them to BEFORE saying them. NOTHING is worth saying if it will hurt someone deeply to the point that they spend time crying over it. Sometimes people cannot control what will hurt them which is why we as feeling beings MUST work hard to be the best we can be and that means we do not accuse or assume ANYTHING about anyone.

I need EVERYONE to realize that this is not okay. It is not okay to tell someone who they are when you barely know them–family or acquaintance. It is not okay to assume anything without learning the other side’s story. It is not okay. So stop it. Just. STOP.

</rant>

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

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College friends…

Alright, so I haven’t actually met many people here, the majority of the people I know here are people I knew before I got here… anywho, I have a few new friends though!

Hanna – One of my roommates who I’ve grown pretty close to, we are extremely similar… in basically everything.

Kaitlyn – She is just like me, anxiety, loves writing, english major with an emphasis on creative writing. 🙂

Danny – One of my home teachers, he’s pretty cool. And I threatened his life so you could say we are pretty close. >:D

Adam – The other half of the home teachers equation, he’s pretty cool too. Haven’t threatened his life yet.

Lloyd – I met him mainly because I wanted to watch Edward Scissorhands…. I felt really bad about it too so I made an effort to get to know him and he’s a really great guy. We went on a date and realized how horrible we are at mini-golf, but we cover it up by saying that we’re expert mini-golfers. No one even questions it. mwahahahaha!

Chaylyn (Chay) – She sits by me in humanities and makes the class bearable. She’s also a pretty great listener.

Annika – Also sits by me in humanities, haven’t gotten to hang out with her just yet but I know her pretty well, I think.

Gabby – This chick is awesome. She’s in my physics lab group and I just love getting to hang out with her (even though we’re supposed to be working on our labs)

Ethan – I guess he’s cool, I mean….  He’s in my physics lab group and understands basically everything we don’t so… Yeah, he’s pretty cool.

Ver – First off, this name is awesome! Second he’s way cool and in my physics lab gorup as well. He and I kinda slack off when Gabby and Ethan are working and then when Gabby is slacking off we take turns helping Ethan out.

McKenna – In my english class and she’s pretty great. I’ve gotten to hang out with her (doing english homework) before.

Eli – He is in my english class and he’s extremely helpful because our teacher doesn’t explain things very well all the time. So it’s good to have friends like him around.

So….. I mean…. Idk. That’s not very many people…. but it’s cool. I’m doing alright and surviving.

Welp, fare thee well!!!

Karen Alyse ❤

C’est la vie!

Alright guys… I got super busy after July this summer so that’s why I haven’t posted anything in what? 3 months? And now you get 3 posts and a re-blog from me? I hope you all forgive me!

Let’s recap each month… shall we?

July:

– I was working at the theater constantly

– The people I babysit for were out of town

– I went swimming a few times with friends

But mainly for July I just worked and watched the Big Bang Theory.

August:

– I had a goodbye picnic with some of my really good friends

– I worked at the theater a lot and got to train my friend Evan in concessions

– I also worked at CAbi about 2-3 days a week for like 6 hours each

– I didn’t have any babysitting jobs 😦

– I basically slept and worked until the 12th rolled around, that was when I visited my best friend Joann in California for a whole week (for her birthday)

– After that I worked for about a week in between the California trip and then the New York trip

– After the New York trip (towards the very end of August, last 3 days) my boyfriend came to visit me and he stayed for 5 days at my house

– We got to go to Six Flags twice (my family got season passes)

That is basically August in a nutshell. It was rather busy. I hope y’all remember that I did post about how there would be a lot of travel in my future.

September:

– I was no longer working at Cinemark or CAbi (I went seasonal with both)

– I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend on the 2nd day of this month (also the day we broke up)

– I hung out with my twin, Sara, as often as possible before I had to leave for college

– I was pretty depressed. Gonna be honest here

– I had my birthday on a Sunday so I had a “birthday party” on Monday morning and then I had a few friends come over later that night because they couldn’t make it earlier

– My mom and I shopped for stuff for college

– My family went to Six Flags with our friends Michaella, Keaton, and Kallee

– I had to pack up my room so that I could leave for college (this literally took forever!!! And I didn’t even bring a lot of stuff to college, I packed most of it up and put it in bins or my closet)

– I drove with my parents up to Idaho (3 day journey)

– We got my stuff moved into my dorm and I went shopping for some more college stuff

– I attended the BYU-I Get Connected activities and hung out with my roommates Michaella and Hanna

– I started class on the 15th (my sister’s birthday)

– My roommates and I started watching movies every Friday and Saturday night

Friday: Scary movies (usually)

Saturday: Any kind of movies

– I met my FHE brothers and sisters

So that is September. Some of what is to follow/or what is above may accidentally be placed in the wrong month

October:

– I got a calling in the Rexburg 42nd Ward (Visiting Teaching Coordinator for my Relief Society)

– Went to a college dance (The Masquerade Ball) Hanna and I only stayed for 15 minutes

– Threw a birthday party for our roommate Kaitlyn

– Went through some roommate drama

– Continued watching shows and movies with Hanna

– I started going to the Temple every Friday (the first time: before my classes with my ward, every time after: after my classes with Hanna)

– I have to deep clean the apartment every week since October 1st with my roommates

– Had to explain about my anxiety to someone and they STILL don’t understand it

– Wrote my first college essay and got a 94 on it

That brings you up to date with today. I also got to go shopping today (after going to the Temple) at DownEast and I got to get 2 dresses,  a skirt, and a scarf for $19 dollars. 😀

Well that’s my life!!

C’est la vie!

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse ❤

Silver-Lined Heart (Write Alike Poem) from my Senior Year (2013-2014)

I’m for reckless abandon

and spontaneous celebrations of nothing at all,

like those times when no one is around you

and your automatic reaction is to dance around with no inhibitions!

See things you hate, things you despise,

student drivers who aren’t aware of their blinkers,

driving 5 miles per hour below the speed limit,

that’s all well and good.

And as far as sending text messages goes,

I guess you should.

it might just be a text that saves someone’s life,

brings true happiness to a friend or true love to adults.

But as far as what soothes me, what inspires and moves me,

honesty behooves me to tell you your rage doesn’t move me.

See, like the darkest of clouds my heart has a silver lining,

which does not harken to the loudest whining,

but beats and stirs and grows ever more

when I learn of the things you’re actually for.

That’s why I’m for leaps of faith, perfect love, and stories of friendship,

nothing but the music of successful long distance friendships.

For the fact of love being true

the way it is portrayed in love stories that we may just know it.

For movies when you need them,

and books when you need them.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I’m for wishes upon stars, for friendships that endure,

for unconditional and divine and wise true love,

that it will always grow and burn throughout trials.

For dancing in the rain, and for the rain itself,

by which I mean the individual raindrops. Definitely for the raindrops.

Warm hoodies, and homemade chocolate shakes,

And stories written with your own imagination in the comfort of your home:

I’m for all of these.

So don’t waste my time and your curses on verses

about what you are against, despise, and abhor.

Tell me what inspires you, what fulfills and fires you,

put your precious pen to paper and tell me what you’re for!

 

~~~~

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Cruel as It Is, We Somehow Go On (Write Alike Short Story) from my Senior Year (2013-2014)

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel.

That is ultimately the fundamental lesson here, as fangirls wail, celebrities sleep calmly in hotels, and the angsty teens lie unclaimed in the rubble that once was real life.

Sometimes the characters fall and will not stop. Sometimes the writers turn evil and will not write. Sometimes the producers rise and smack the storyline like a fist. Sometimes the producers delay and split the story. And sometimes, the emotions rattle and heave and split in two.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel.

And always, when it is, we do the same thing. We dig ourselves out. We weep and mourn, we recover and memorialize the fallen, we rebuild our hopes. And we go on. This is the price of being a fangirl. And also, arguably, the noblest fandoms.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel, and you have no choice but to accept that as part of the bargain called fangirling. And when it is your turn to deal with it, you try.

But what if it’s always your turn?

Surely some hopeless, tear-streaked fangirl can be forgiven for thinking it is always her turn this evening, two minutes after the most angsty fandom in the world saw its episode airing delayed by the strongest force it has ever known, an evil producing monster. Surely, the rest of us watching from afar, experiencing tragedy and devastation from the comfort of desk chairs and living room couches, are tempted to believe the same thing.

Bad enough, fangirls are wretchedly poor. Bad enough they have a history of emotional instability and weakness, of being ignored by the major powers when it is not being exploited by them. Bad enough, all that, yet at the end of the day, those are disasters authored by the producers hands, by producers greed, producers corruption, producers economic predation.

Sometimes, though, you have to wonder if the producers themselves are not conspiring against these feisty little fangirls.

After 1995, when A&E’s Pride and Prejudice was aired, after 2005, when Doctor Who was revived and swept away over 500 fangirls, after 2006 when the mercy of Robin Hood helped over 2,000 souls, after 2010, when Sherlock aired only three episodes and Downton Abbey made a stir, followed by Merlin’s newfound fame which captured even more, after the double whammy of Spies of War and Bates Motel in 2013 gathered many more fangirls and destroyed social lives, through all that, comes this lifestyle – and an emotional toll psychologists cannot begin to even imagine. Perhaps as many as millions, they were saying on Wednesday.

Sometimes the fandom life is cruel. To crawl onto the couch, scanning for new episodes on Netflix, charting when shows are available, running from real life issues, is to understand this in a primal, personal way. It is to view a show that begins, “Long ago, in the time of dragons…” It is to create clever tumblr posts, donate your small funds, volunteer material and time and to fear, even in the waiting, that these gestures are small against the reality, inconsequential against the ache of a people  whose turn to fall never seems to end.

But what else are you going to do? As the playwright put it, your voice is too small to talk with producers. Even less have we the ability to answer the question that burns the moment: Why are the most vulnerable repeatedly assessed the highest price?

We are hamstrung by our own obsessions, so we can only do what we always do, only send money and hope. And watch, staggered by the courage it takes, as fangirls do what fangirls always do, the thing at which they have become so terribly practiced.

Dig out. Weep and mourn. Memorialize the fallen. Rebuild. Go on. And show the world once againa stubborn insistence on living, despite all the cruelties of the fandom life.

~~~~

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Satire Assignment (“A Modest Proposal”) from My Junior Year (2012-2013)

When going to high school, the most important habit gained from those 4 years is the ability to stand in the center of a hallway and cause others to be late to their respective activities. Walking through a high school where there are no clots in the halls would be horrible; it would not count as the true high school experience.

We must always be standing directly in the middle of the hallway, chatting with our best friends and making sure there is no room to get past us. Every once in a while, we must make sure that everyone in the hallway knows what we are saying and quite often we must start fights that have to be broken up by the school security guards. Anyone who went to high school would say that chatting in the halls and getting into fights were the best events that ever happened and that the tradition must be carried on.

If the clumps of cliques blocking the halls disappeared, people would actually get to class on time and we do not want to get to the classroom on time because the best reward is an office referral, which is only gained by arriving late. Therefore the clots of individuals must continue to block the halls. It is a fact that no one in the school wants to get to class on time. The idea of wanting to get to class on time is preposterous.

It is a fundamental property that arriving at the classroom on time is altogether obscene and should be avoided at all cost. So the next time you end up at a standstill in the halls, you give those wonderful saints a great big round of applause and thank them, for making the high school world a safer and better place.

~~~~~~~

Fare thee well!

Karen Alyse