#donotbeafakefriend

I recently posted a FaceBook status that reads:

“It’s interesting when you realize just how many people you talked to/were friends with when you were younger that decided you were just another face in the crowd they could forget and now they have to interact with you. It always makes for some nice awkward encounters. Word to the wise? Maybe be a genuine friend or just don’t invest time in people. This way it won’t be awkward in the future. ‪#‎donotbeafakefriend‬

This is a good lesson for anyone to learn, but I am about to focus mainly on my faith. If no one knew this, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With this comes a lot of close-knit community ties. We have a tighter community than most other religions. Especially with the fact that we don’t necessarily “choose” where we go to church, but rather go to a specific building based on where we live. Not only is it the building that an area is assigned to, but different sections of the area go to the church building at a specific time.

In Utah, this topic may not be a thing seeing as there truly is a church on almost every corner, but in Texas, this is absolutely a real occurrence. Especially when you reach cities that are even slightly more city than suburb. Even 45 minutes away from a major city deals with the tiny close-knit community that Mormons/LDS members are known for.

However, it’s not even home wards that we are dealing with here, it’s YSA’s (Young Single Adult wards and branches). If you thought the way we did Sunday services was strange, you’re gonna get a real kick out of this one. Outside of Utah and Idaho, we don’t really have multiple YSA’s for each stake. We, more than likely, have one.

And this brings me back to my main point. Do not be a fake friend.

When we are younger, we have the chance to meet people in our area and age group in the church at various activities and we 0ften become friends with many people this way. The only caveat here is that many young members of the church will simply tolerate people that they wouldn’t want to be friends with outside of these activities. Thus, when college hits everyone goes their separate ways, UNLESS they continue to live in the same city that they grew up in.

This is because they now begin going to the YSA branch/ward in their area and now have to encounter those people again on a regular occurrence–even more than they had before as children.

This is not an issue for everyone, but this can be one for many because they have chosen to ignore those they “befriended” as young children because they, at the time or later, thought they were “too churchy”, “too weird”, “not cool enough”, or even “merely tolerable”. (This list doesn’t end. People have endless reasons for dropping someone and ignoring them completely–This isn’t only in the LDS community. It happens with EVERYONE.)

What drove me to write about this is that I now have an assignment where I have to interact with one of these “friends” from my childhood each month who I suppose was never truly a friend. It wouldn’t be weird if the person in question hadn’t continually ignored me as an adult and pretended like I didn’t exist. However, because they did this it will make interacting with them that much more awkward. I had made the effort to reach out to them as I was at school and such and they, countless times, ignored me.

Y’all may be thinking “oh she’s just butthurt that this happened to her…”, “she shouldn’t have tried…”, “only she would be affected by this…”, “it’s all in her head…”, “this isn’t really happpening to her…” but all of those phrases are so far from the truth.

If the person in question hadn’t been friends with me when we were young children there would be no issue and this would be another instance where I get to meet a new person, but because I’ve known them for over 15 years, have known what they went through, and have seen how far they’ve come without them even thinking that I might be a friend, this is going to be awkward. And it probably won’t be awkward just for me.

I can guarantee you that the second they realize that I was one of the people they knew as a child whom they often spent time with they will feel the awkwardness.

This is not a post where I am asking you to pity me or help me wallow in my sorrow, but this is a post where I am asking you to please, PLEASE, please be genuine. I cannot express how much I hope everyone takes this and decides to be a genuine individual and friend. It is hard to realize how important it is when we are young, but as we grow older we need to recognize that nobody has time for fake friends. Nobody has time to be fake. No one has time to even think about being fake. Genuine is where it’s at. This is the only type of friend ANYONE should be. And the only type of friend that I intend to be. I will interact with this person just as I would with any of my close friends. I will continue to love them and reach out to them, no matter what because I truly care about them and I hope, more than anything, that I can make a difference in their life.

 

These are my thoughts on this topic, I hope y’all have thoughts to share with me as well because I love to hear stories and comments from people.

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

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Boys and Girls.

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Boys.

Isn’t it always about boys?

The world is so intricately designed

and yet all girls truly care about are boys.

What would the world be like if that wasn’t all there was?

What would girls do if they weren’t obsessed with boys?

Maybe be more independent? Maybe be brave.

Maybe they would be proud of who they are.

Maybe they wouldn’t think twice if a boy looked their way.

Maybe they’d be more than they are now.

 

Girls.

Alternately, boys tend to think only about girls.

Girls are something to get. Something they have.

Something to flaunt. Something that they “acquired”.

Does that sound like a person? To me it sounds like an artifact.

A toy that can be used at their pleasure and tossed away when it gets old.

A thing that has little value once it gets old.

A thing that a boy may toss away when he is bored.

What if boys respected girls more?

What if girls were actually a special addition to a boy’s life?

 

Boys & Girls.

Together they can do great things.

Together they have great power.

Together they can get married.

Together they can fix their problems.

Together they can build a home.

Together they can council their friends equally.

Together they can dance.

Together they can sing.

Together they can do great and noble things.

 

So why?

Why do boys think of girls as objects? And why do girls think of boys as an escape?

Why do boys parade girls? And why do girls chase after boys?

Why do boys cast away girls when they get bored? Why would a girl run back to a boy who was so cruel to her?

Why do boys ignore girls until having one suits them? Why do girls think it is okay to be ignored?

Why do boys and girls use each other so wrongly?

 

Just some thoughts that I had on my mind. I’ve noticed these instances a lot more lately. I just don’t think we should truly hang our whole life on one other person. Girls shouldn’t plan their lives around a guy and drop everything just because he wanted to do something and guys shouldn’t drop everything just because the girl wanted to do something. It should be relatively equal and they should agree on the terms of their relationship. If they go to a dance and meet up there and the girl wants to talk to her friends because she hasn’t seen them and rarely ever does, then the guy should let her. He shouldn’t attempt to box her up and tell her she can ONLY spend the night with him and then when she doesn’t listen to him he shouldn’t leave without telling her. That is not the way things should happen. And guys shouldn’t feel suffocated by the girl. He should be able to be as free as the girl is. They should be on the same grounds in these areas.

Just some of my ideas and opinions. Tell me what you think! I actually am really interested!!

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

Why?

The lucky question of the day.

A good one and a bad one.

The one that prevails after everything else is asked.

Why?

Why did you watch Conference today?

To feast on the words of the latter day prophets. To learn more of the Gospel for yourself. To gain answers to your many questions. Whatever your reason, it was most likely a good thing.

Why did your phone die today?

I actually do not have a plausible reason for this. It could be that I really needed a new phone, I needed to stop using my phone, I needed to find a new outlet to relieve my stress, I needed to learn how to overcome a trial such as this, etc. I really do not know the reason, but I sure hope I can see the good in this trial by the end of it.

Why is one of the most used questions in our world today. We have answers to it sometimes and then don’t other times. However, whether we have an answer or not, we should always be willing to think about the question asked and determine if whatever is happening is good or bad.

Fare thee well!!

Karen Alyse

The House.

The House.

This is the story about a house for my friend who has been begging me to write a story about a house that is NOT my house.

The house had been built upside down, but that was the way the owner wanted it. It was built as a one story house, with an attic that more resembled a basement as it was on the bottom of the house. Blue paint had dried lightly on the house to make it even more unique. The windows were the exits. And the front and back doors did not exist. Anyone who walked by looked and their eyes bugged out. The house was a strange house, however it was welcome in the neighborhood as they all drove cars that were upside down. This is the story of the upside down, one story house in the middle of unknown territory.

~~~~~~~

Fare thee well!

Karen Alyse